Day 16. Genesis 47-50

Genesis 47-50

Genesis 47

¹Then Joseph came and told Pharaoh, and said, My father and my brethren, and their flocks, and their herds, and all that they have, are come out of the land of Canaan; and, behold, they are in the land of Goshen.

Goshen was some of the (but not the) best land in Egypt. It's in the north east of the country. The name Goshen doesn't really mean anything. The area is now a desert.

Joseph presents five of his brothers to pharaoh.

³And Pharaoh said unto his brethren, What is your occupation? And they said unto Pharaoh, Thy servants are shepherds, both we, and also our fathers.

Darn it; Joseph said they were supposed to say cattle ranchers because shepherding is an abomination.

⁷And Joseph brought in Jacob his father, and set him before Pharaoh: and Jacob blessed Pharaoh.

There wasn't always contention between the Hebrews and the Egyptians.

⁸And Pharaoh said unto Jacob, How old art thou?

⁹And Jacob said unto Pharaoh, The days of the years of my pilgrimage are an hundred and thirty years: few and evil have the days of the years of my life been, and have not attained unto the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their pilgrimage.

Ok, if Jacob is 130, that means that it is 1766.

¹¹And Joseph placed his father and his brethren, and gave them a possession in the land of Egypt, in the best of the land, in the land of Rameses, as Pharaoh had commanded.

Ramesses means "Born of the god Ra". Messes means "born of the god". Amenmesse means "born of the god Amun".

¹³And there was no bread in all the land; for the famine was very sore, so that the land of Egypt and all the land of Canaan fainted by reason of the famine.

The famine was getting worse. The first two years, there was still plenty. Now, things are getting pretty bad.

¹⁴And Joseph gathered up all the money that was found in the land of Egypt, and in the land of Canaan, for the corn which they bought: and Joseph brought the money into Pharaoh's house.

First, Joseph managed to get all the money from the people, in exchange for corn.

¹⁵And when money failed in the land of Egypt, and in the land of Canaan, all the Egyptians came unto Joseph, and said, Give us bread: for why should we die in thy presence? for the money faileth.

The famine (with the help of Joseph) ruined the economy of Egypt.

¹⁶And Joseph said, Give your cattle; and I will give you for your cattle, if money fail.

¹⁷And they brought their cattle unto Joseph: and Joseph gave them bread in exchange for horses, and for the flocks, and for the cattle of the herds, and for the asses: and he fed them with bread for all their cattle for that year.

After Joseph took all the money from the land. He then took all the livestock, in exchange for corn. Why didn't these people ever eat their livestock? Jacob and all his people came down with a whole lot of livestock. Why didn't they eat it? Does no one eat cows? Oh yeah, probably not.

And now, for a discussion of Astrological Ages. Each age is roughly 2000 years.

We are currently (or just about to go into) the Age of Aquarius. Yes, like the musical Hair says, "this is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius". The astrological ages proceed backwards from the order of the zodiac. We haven't gotten our great messiah for this age yet (I'll do it). Aquarius would last from about 2000-4000 AD.

The age that is either ending, or just ended was the age of Pisces. The great messiah for that age was Jesus. The symbol of Pisces is a fish. One of the symbols that people use to represent Jesus is the Ichthus (the Jesus fish). (pronounced Ikh-thoos) It is the greek word for fish. Pisces would have lasted from about 0-2000 AD.

The age before that was the Age of Aries. Aries is the ram. The great messiah for that age was Moses. Moses is often depicted with rams horns, known as Horned Moses, (we'll get to more of that in a couple of days). Remember, Isaac was about to be sacrifice, and then a ram was stuck in the bushes and it was sacrificed instead. Isaac was born in 1956, right at the beginning of the age of Aries. Aries would have been from 0-2000 BC.

The age before that was Taurus. Taurus is the bull. That era would have been from 2000-4000 BC (the first day). Bulls were sacred animals in Egypt during this time. So people wouldn't have eaten them.

So, since they were at the end of the age of Taurus, the people wouldn't eat their sacred animals.

Back to the bible.

¹⁸When that year was ended, they came unto him the second year, and said unto him, We will not hide it from my lord, how that our money is spent; my lord also hath our herds of cattle; there is not ought left in the sight of my lord, but our bodies, and our lands:

¹⁹Wherefore shall we die before thine eyes, both we and our land? buy us and our land for bread, and we and our land will be servants unto Pharaoh: and give us seed, that we may live, and not die, that the land be not desolate.

Joseph has the money, the livestock, and now he's taking the land and the people.

²⁰And Joseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh; for the Egyptians sold every man his field, because the famine prevailed over them: so the land became Pharaoh's.

²¹And as for the people, he removed them to cities from one end of the borders of Egypt even to the other end thereof.

He turned the farming civilization into people who lived in cities. He didn't buy the land of the priests. After purchasing the land, he allowed people to go farm on it, in return for 20% of the harvest.

²⁶And Joseph made it a law over the land of Egypt unto this day, that Pharaoh should have the fifth part, except the land of the priests only, which became not Pharaoh's.

Apparently the bible is correct, from what I can tell, Egypt currently has a progressive income tax rate from 20 to 40 percent.

²⁷And Israel dwelt in the land of Egypt, in the country of Goshen; and they had possessions therein, and grew, and multiplied exceedingly.

²⁸And Jacob lived in the land of Egypt seventeen years: so the whole age of Jacob was an hundred forty and seven years.

Jacob is preparing to die.

²⁹And the time drew nigh that Israel must die: and he called his son Joseph, and said unto him, If now I have found grace in thy sight, put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh, and deal kindly and truly with me; bury me not, I pray thee, in Egypt:

³⁰But I will lie with my fathers, and thou shalt carry me out of Egypt, and bury me in their buryingplace. And he said, I will do as thou hast said.

³¹And he said, Swear unto me. And he sware unto him. And Israel bowed himself upon the bed's head.

This is another testicle/ballsack/circumcision swear. "Under my thigh" means the testes, or on the circumcision.

Either way, Jacob didn't want to be buried in Egypt (he's a racist), he wanted to be buried in the cave of the patriarchs.

Genesis 48

Jacob takes his two boys in to see their grandfather and be blessed.

⁵And now thy two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh, which were born unto thee in the land of Egypt before I came unto thee into Egypt, are mine; as Reuben and Simeon, they shall be mine.

As Reuben and Simeon, they shall be mine. What Jacob means is, INSTEAD of Reuben and Simeon, they shall be mine. Jacob was still pissed at Reuben for sleeping with Bilhah. Jacob was pissed at Simeon for killing all the people in Shechem.

⁸And Israel beheld Joseph's sons, and said, Who are these?

What? In the 17 years that Jacob lived in Israel, he never met Joseph's boys?

In recent reading we saw how the notions of Benjamin were incorrect. How he's portrayed as a child of around 10 years old when he meets Joseph in Egypt. Meanwhile he moves down into Egypt with 10 children. Today we get another example of how people get it wrong.

The picture to the right is Jacob Blessing Ephraim and Manasseh, by Benjamin West. This was painted in 1766-68. The picture hangs in the Allen Memorial Art Museum, Oberlin College, Oberlin, Ohio.

You see Jacob, an old man, blessing two young children. Manasseh is the darker haired child.

In Genesis 41:50, we see the sons were born before the years of famine. Jacob moved into Egypt in the second year of the famine. Jacob dies after living there for 17 years. Jacob dies after giving the blessings. The boys would have been nearly 20, and not children.

⁹And Joseph said unto his father, They are my sons, whom God hath given me in this place. And he said, Bring them, I pray thee, unto me, and I will bless them.

Joseph introduces his sons.

¹²And Joseph brought them out from between his knees, and he bowed himself with his face to the earth.

This verse makes it seem as though the boys were children. We'll have to keep reading to ensure that they are men, and not young boys.

¹³And Joseph took them both, Ephraim in his right hand toward Israel's left hand, and Manasseh in his left hand toward Israel's right hand, and brought them near unto him.

¹⁴And Israel stretched out his right hand, and laid it upon Ephraim's head, who was the younger, and his left hand upon Manasseh's head, guiding his hands wittingly; for Manasseh was the firstborn.

Ephraim got the right hand (so he'd be the blond child in the painting).

¹⁵And he blessed Joseph, and said, God, before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac did walk, the God which fed me all my life long unto this day,

¹⁶The Angel which redeemed me from all evil, bless the lads; and let my name be named on them, and the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac; and let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth.

God bless these boys.

¹⁷And when Joseph saw that his father laid his right hand upon the head of Ephraim, it displeased him: and he held up his father's hand, to remove it from Ephraim's head unto Manasseh's head.

¹⁸And Joseph said unto his father, Not so, my father: for this is the firstborn; put thy right hand upon his head.

It's funny that Jacob wants his sons blessed in their birth order. He's usurping his oldest brothers blessing, by getting his boys blessed first. He's also getting the primary blessing from the son who usurped it from the deserving brother (Esau). Who got his blessing from the father who sent away his firstborn (Ishmael) to go die in the desert.

¹⁹And his father refused, and said, I know it, my son, I know it: he also shall become a people, and he also shall be great: but truly his younger brother shall be greater than he, and his seed shall become a multitude of nations.

The younger sons always seem to be the ones who are greater.

²²Moreover I have given to thee one portion above thy brethren, which I took out of the hand of the Amorite with my sword and with my bow.

I don't remember that story.

Genesis 49

¹And Jacob called unto his sons, and said, Gather yourselves together, that I may tell you that which shall befall you in the last days.

Jacob calls his sons together. It's time for them to be blessed.

First he insults Reuben, for sleeping with his concubine. (1)

⁴Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; because thou wentest up to thy father's bed; then defiledst thou it: he went up to my couch.

Then he insults Simeon and Levi, for killing Shechem.(2,3)

⁷Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.

Judah is the first to get something nice said to him. (4)

⁸Judah, thou art he whom thy brethren shall praise: thy hand shall be in the neck of thine enemies; thy father's children shall bow down before thee.

Zebulon: (5)

¹³Zebulun shall dwell at the haven of the sea; and he shall be for an haven of ships; and his border shall be unto Zidon.

Issachar: (6)

¹⁴Issachar is a strong ass couching down between two burdens:

Dan: (7)

¹⁶Dan shall judge his people, as one of the tribes of Israel.

Gad: (8)

¹⁹Gad, a troop shall overcome him: but he shall overcome at the last.

Asher: (9)

²⁰Out of Asher his bread shall be fat, and he shall yield royal dainties.

Naphtali: (10)

²¹Naphtali is a hind let loose: he giveth goodly words.

Joseph: (11)

²²Joseph is a fruitful bough, even a fruitful bough by a well; whose branches run over the wall:

Benjamin: (12)

²⁷Benjamin shall ravin as a wolf: in the morning he shall devour the prey, and at night he shall divide the spoil.

It seems like some of those are just the ravings of a dieing man. They don't seem like blessings at all.

²⁸All these are the twelve tribes of Israel: and this is it that their father spake unto them, and blessed them; every one according to his blessing he blessed them.

Those are the blessings.

Then he demanded to be buried in the cave of the patriarchs.

³³And when Jacob had made an end of commanding his sons, he gathered up his feet into the bed, and yielded up the ghost, and was gathered unto his people.

Then he died.

Exactly when did all the blessings take place? We know the final blessings happened in 1749, right before he died. The narrative seems to imply that the 12 blessings happened almost directly after the Manasseh/ Ephraim blessings. Which would put it at 17 years after Jacob went to Egypt, making those two boys nearly 20.

Genesis 50

¹And Joseph fell upon his father's face, and wept upon him, and kissed him.

²And Joseph commanded his servants the physicians to embalm his father: and the physicians embalmed Israel.

This is the first mention of embalming. There is only one other Hebrew who was embalmed, and that's later, in verse 26.

Joseph tells Pharaoh that he wants to go bury his dad at the cave of the patriarchs.

Pharaoh lets him go.

¹²And his sons did unto him according as he commanded them:

¹³For his sons carried him into the land of Canaan, and buried him in the cave of the field of Machpelah, which Abraham bought with the field for a possession of a buryingplace of Ephron the Hittite, before Mamre.

Jacob was buried next to Leah. Rachel was buried someplace else. Jacob may have loved Rachel more, but the person he was buried with was Leah.

¹⁴And Joseph returned into Egypt, he, and his brethren, and all that went up with him to bury his father, after he had buried his father.

The brothers went back. The famine was over. They didn't need to go back. They could have stayed, if they did, we wouldn't have a whole lot of the religions that are out there now. There would have been no exodus. There wouldn't be the plagues. There wouldn't be passover. Jesus wouldn't have been sacrificed on passover.

The brothers are then afraid that Joseph will now punish them. They thought that maybe he was being nice because of Jacob.

¹⁷So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him.

Joseph was sad that they thought he would do them harm.

²⁰But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

²¹Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.

Joseph promises to take care of his brothers families.

²²And Joseph dwelt in Egypt, he, and his father's house: and Joseph lived an hundred and ten years.

²³And Joseph saw Ephraim's children of the third generation: the children also of Machir the son of Manasseh were brought up upon Joseph's knees.

Joseph actually took part in the lives of his grand children. Which is odd, since no one else seems to have taken an interest in their grandkids. Noah cursed one of his. Jacob blessed Ephraim and Manasseh, but didn't know who they were. No one seemed to care about anyone except their favorite.

²⁶So Joseph died, being an hundred and ten years old: and they embalmed him, and he was put in a coffin in Egypt.

Joseph finally died.

Thus ends Genesis.

Points to ponder:

1. Is it right to take all the money, then take the livestock, then take the land, then take the people? If the stored food was a fifth, didn't the people have a right to the food they put up?

2. We Manasseh and Ephraim children, or were they in their late teens?

3. Why did they go back to Egypt after burying Jacob?

Day 14. Genesis 40-42

Genesis 40-42

Genesis 40

¹And it came to pass after these things, that the butler of the king of Egypt and his baker had offended their lord the king of Egypt.

The butler and the baker. We aren't told what the offense is, we just know that they were sent to prison. Joseph was put in charge of the two prisoners.

⁵And they dreamed a dream both of them, each man his dream in one night, each man according to the interpretation of his dream, the butler and the baker of the king of Egypt, which were bound in the prison.

Both had a dream. Neither could figure out what it meant.

⁹And the chief butler told his dream to Joseph, and said to him, In my dream, behold, a vine was before me;

¹⁰And in the vine were three branches: and it was as though it budded, and her blossoms shot forth; and the clusters thereof brought forth ripe grapes:

¹¹And Pharaoh's cup was in my hand: and I took the grapes, and pressed them into Pharaoh's cup, and I gave the cup into Pharaoh's hand.

The chief butler was actually the cup bearer. He dreamed he would be giving Pharaoh a cup again. He couldn't figure out what his dream meant.

Joseph interpreted the dream.

¹²And Joseph said unto him, This is the interpretation of it: The three branches are three days:

¹³Yet within three days shall Pharaoh lift up thine head, and restore thee unto thy place: and thou shalt deliver Pharaoh's cup into his hand, after the former manner when thou wast his butler.

It took a professional dream interpreter to tell him that.

¹⁴But think on me when it shall be well with thee, and shew kindness, I pray thee, unto me, and make mention of me unto Pharaoh, and bring me out of this house:

¹⁵For indeed I was stolen away out of the land of the Hebrews: and here also have I done nothing that they should put me into the dungeon.

Joseph says he doesn't want to be in prison for ever. Maybe you could tell the pharaoh, and I can get out of prison.

The chief baker tells Joseph his dream.

¹⁶When the chief baker saw that the interpretation was good, he said unto Joseph, I also was in my dream, and, behold, I had three white baskets on my head:

¹⁷And in the uppermost basket there was of all manner of bakemeats for Pharaoh; and the birds did eat them out of the basket upon my head.

Joseph interprets the dream.

¹⁹Yet within three days shall Pharaoh lift up thy head from off thee, and shall hang thee on a tree; and the birds shall eat thy flesh from off thee.

The cup bearer will be restored, the baker will die.

²⁰And it came to pass the third day, which was Pharaoh's birthday, that he made a feast unto all his servants: and he lifted up the head of the chief butler and of the chief baker among his servants.

²¹And he restored the chief butler unto his butlership again; and he gave the cup into Pharaoh's hand:

²²But he hanged the chief baker: as Joseph had interpreted to them.

Pharaoh had a birthday party. In celebration, he restored one of the guys; he killed the other one.

²³Yet did not the chief butler remember Joseph, but forgat him.

Of course he forgot him.

Genesis 41

¹And it came to pass at the end of two full years, that Pharaoh dreamed: and, behold, he stood by the river.

Pharaoh now has a dream.

²And, behold, there came up out of the river seven well favoured kine and fatfleshed; and they fed in a meadow.

³And, behold, seven other kine came up after them out of the river, ill favoured and leanfleshed; and stood by the other kine upon the brink of the river.

⁴And the ill favoured and leanfleshed kine did eat up the seven well favoured and fat kine. So Pharaoh awoke.

Kine are cattle. Seven fat cows came out of the river, then seven skinny cows came out and ate the fat cows.

He had another dream.

⁵And he slept and dreamed the second time: and, behold, seven ears of corn came up upon one stalk, rank and good.

⁶And, behold, seven thin ears and blasted with the east wind sprung up after them.

⁷And the seven thin ears devoured the seven rank and full ears. And Pharaoh awoke, and, behold, it was a dream.

Seven ears of good corn, were eaten by seven ears of skinny corn.

It's no wonder pharaoh needed his dream interpreted. According to Easton's Bible Dictionary defines corn as "a general term representing all the commodities we usually describe by the words corn, grain, seeds, peas, beans." The word used here is dagan. I can understand several of the items, grain, seeds, peas, beans, but the word corn in the definition means maize. In the verses it says "ears of corn". Grain doesn't have ears. Seeds don't have ears. Peas and beans don't have ears. Maize has ears.

Why would pharaoh need this dream interpreted? No one back then in the middle east ever had maize. Maize was a new world plant. Columbus was the first European to see corn (if you believe Columbus was the person who discovered the Americas). 3000 years before Columbus brought maize back to Europe, nobody in Egypt would know what it was.

Of course, it was probably wheat, or barley, but wheat and barley aren't called "ears".

⁸And it came to pass in the morning that his spirit was troubled; and he sent and called for all the magicians of Egypt, and all the wise men thereof: and Pharaoh told them his dream; but there was none that could interpret them unto Pharaoh.

Of course they couldn't, they were probably trying to figure out what "corn" was.

Suddenly, the butler (cup bearer) remembers Joseph, and tells the story of his dream and the baker's dream. Pharaoh calls for Joseph.

Pharaoh then retells the story, practically word for word in verses 18-24.

²⁵And Joseph said unto Pharaoh, The dream of Pharaoh is one: God hath shewed Pharaoh what he is about to do.

Joseph says, he doesn't interpret dreams, god does. He says both dreams are actually about the same event.

The seven good cattle and corn are seven years of plenty, followed by seven bad cattle and corn are seven years of famine.

³³Now therefore let Pharaoh look out a man discreet and wise, and set him over the land of Egypt.

³⁴Let Pharaoh do this, and let him appoint officers over the land, and take up the fifth part of the land of Egypt in the seven plenteous years.

Joseph has pharaoh set up storage facilities for the seven years of plenty. Large enough that it will hold 20% of the harvest.

³⁵And let them gather all the food of those good years that come, and lay up corn under the hand of Pharaoh, and let them keep food in the cities.

³⁶And that food shall be for store to the land against the seven years of famine, which shall be in the land of Egypt; that the land perish not through the famine.

It's odd that the famine will affect the entirety of known civilization, and only one person had a dream that it was coming.

³⁸And Pharaoh said unto his servants, Can we find such a one as this is, a man in whom the Spirit of God is?

³⁹And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, Forasmuch as God hath shewed thee all this, there is none so discreet and wise as thou art:

⁴⁰Thou shalt be over my house, and according unto thy word shall all my people be ruled: only in the throne will I be greater than thou.

Pharaoh decides that Joseph will be the guy in charge. Joseph will be the second most powerful man in Egypt. Except that Joseph is in charge of the food, so he's actually the most powerful man.

⁴²And Pharaoh took off his ring from his hand, and put it upon Joseph's hand, and arrayed him in vestures of fine linen, and put a gold chain about his neck;

⁴³And he made him to ride in the second chariot which he had; and they cried before him, Bow the knee: and he made him ruler over all the land of Egypt.

Joseph now carried the seal of the king. He was basically the vice president, except he had actual power.

⁴⁵And Pharaoh called Joseph's name Zaphnathpaaneah; and he gave him to wife Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On. And Joseph went out over all the land of Egypt.

Joseph was renamed Zaphnathpaaneah. Zaphnath-Paaneah may mean many things. Some take it to mean "revealer of secrets"; or "finder of mysteries". People have tried to get it to mean many things, but apparently in Egyptian, the name makes no sense. As though it got disfigured when it was being copied. That can't be true, as god has guaranteed his word to be true.

⁴⁶And Joseph was thirty years old when he stood before Pharaoh king of Egypt. And Joseph went out from the presence of Pharaoh, and went throughout all the land of Egypt.

Joseph was 30. That would put this in 1806 BC, If Joseph was born in 1836, if Jacob left Isaac when he was 40.

⁴⁷And in the seven plenteous years the earth brought forth by handfuls.

⁴⁸And he gathered up all the food of the seven years, which were in the land of Egypt, and laid up the food in the cities: the food of the field, which was round about every city, laid he up in the same.

They gathered a lot of corn.

⁵⁰And unto Joseph were born two sons before the years of famine came, which Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On bare unto him.

Joseph's two boys were Manasseh, and Ephriam. Manasseh means "to forget". Ephriam means "double fruitfulness".

⁵⁴And the seven years of dearth began to come, according as Joseph had said: and the dearth was in all lands; but in all the land of Egypt there was bread.

Corn bread.

⁵⁶And the famine was over all the face of the earth: and Joseph opened all the storehouses, and sold unto the Egyptians; and the famine waxed sore in the land of Egypt.

⁵⁷And all countries came into Egypt to Joseph for to buy corn; because that the famine was so sore in all lands.

Egypt was the only place with grain. In all the world.

So, Joseph was in Egypt, at the Pharaoh's for 7 years of plenty and 7 years of famine, that's 14 years. I've calculated the date to be from 1806 to 1792. Which Pharaoh was it?

Amenemhet IV (Maakherure) c. 1808-1799
Sobeknofru (Sobekkare) c. 1799-1795

Sobeknofru was a woman. Surely Joseph would have mentioned that Pharaoh was a woman.

Interestingly, from this point on the 13th Dynasty of the Pharaoh's doesn't have very good dates.

Genesis 42

¹Now when Jacob saw that there was corn in Egypt, Jacob said unto his sons, Why do ye look one upon another?

²And he said, Behold, I have heard that there is corn in Egypt: get you down thither, and buy for us from thence; that we may live, and not die.

Jacob sends his remaining boys down to Egypt to buy corn. He didn't send Benjamin, he didn't want anything bad to happen to Benjamin.

⁶And Joseph was the governor over the land, and he it was that sold to all the people of the land: and Joseph's brethren came, and bowed down themselves before him with their faces to the earth.

Just like the dream.

⁷And Joseph saw his brethren, and he knew them, but made himself strange unto them, and spake roughly unto them; and he said unto them, Whence come ye? And they said, From the land of Canaan to buy food.

He wouldn't really have to make himself strange, this was several years after he was taken away. He was 17 when he started to dream, it's now at least 20 years later.

⁸And Joseph knew his brethren, but they knew not him.

His older brothers would have been in their 20's when he was put in the pit, now they are in their low 40's.

⁹And Joseph remembered the dreams which he dreamed of them, and said unto them, Ye are spies; to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.

Joseph messes with his brothers a bit.

¹⁰And they said unto him, Nay, my lord, but to buy food are thy servants come.

¹¹We are all one man's sons; we are true men, thy servants are no spies.

The brothers are big and tough around Canaanites, but they humble themselves in front of Egyptians.

¹³And they said, Thy servants are twelve brethren, the sons of one man in the land of Canaan; and, behold, the youngest is this day with our father, and one is not.

Joseph again accuses them of being spies.

¹⁵Hereby ye shall be proved: By the life of Pharaoh ye shall not go forth hence, except your youngest brother come hither.

¹⁶Send one of you, and let him fetch your brother, and ye shall be kept in prison, that your words may be proved, whether there be any truth in you: or else by the life of Pharaoh surely ye are spies.

He was initially going to lock up all the brothers except one, instead he only locks up Simeon.

²⁵Then Joseph commanded to fill their sacks with corn, and to restore every man's money into his sack, and to give them provision for the way: and thus did he unto them.

Joseph returns their money. This is the first incidence of Punk'd.

The brothers make it back to Jacob. Why is he still called Jacob? Isn't he Israel now?He's been renamed twice.

³³And the man, the lord of the country, said unto us, Hereby shall I know that ye are true men; leave one of your brethren here with me, and take food for the famine of your households, and be gone:

³⁴And bring your youngest brother unto me: then shall I know that ye are no spies, but that ye are true men: so will I deliver you your brother, and ye shall traffick in the land.

Simeon was still in jail. The brothers made it home with food. This trip from Egypt back to Canaan didn't seem to take very long. It seems to be a relatively routine trip.

³⁶And Jacob their father said unto them, Me have ye bereaved of my children: Joseph is not, and Simeon is not, and ye will take Benjamin away: all these things are against me.

Jacob has a tendency to play favorites with his boys. First it was Joseph, now it's Benjamin. He didn't seem to express too much despair about losing Simeon.

³⁷And Reuben spake unto his father, saying, Slay my two sons, if I bring him not to thee: deliver him into my hand, and I will bring him to thee again.

Reuben ultimately had four sons, at this point he must only have 2.

Points to ponder:

1. Who was the Pharaoh? Who were the Pharaohs? Again, if the authors can't get the history correct, why should they get the theology correct?

2. How hard is it to figure out the dreams? Really, no one could figure them out?

3. I find it odd that the older brothers would be so protective of Benjamin. Apparently Benjamin wasn't as much of an ass as Joseph was. We see Reuben cares more about his youngest brother, than he does for his own two sons.

Day 13. Genesis 37-39

Genesis 37-39

Genesis 37

¹And Jacob dwelt in the land wherein his father was a stranger, in the land of Canaan.

Jacob's father was Isaac. In Gen. 15:13 god told Abram that his seed would live in a land where they are a stranger.

²These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report.

Joseph was 17 and was a tattle tale.

³Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours.

Why? Benjamin was the son of his oldest age. Either way, because Jacob loved Joseph more, his brothers hated him. This verse makes no sense. Jacob was the 11th son born. He was born during the 6 year period from 1811-1805. This verse does lend credence to the old Jacob theory, as opposed to the young Jacob. It makes more sense having Jacob be 71 when he moved to Laban, than for him to be 40. Joseph was born 20 years after Jacob moved to Laban's. He was either 60 or 91. But then all the boys except Benjamin were born when Jacob was 54-60 or 85-91.

Joseph has a dream.

⁷For, behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and, lo, my sheaf arose, and also stood upright; and, behold, your sheaves stood round about, and made obeisance to my sheaf.

A sheaf is a bundle of cereal plants, tied together after harvest. In Joseph's dream, his brothers bundles bowed down to his bundle.

⁸And his brethren said to him, Shalt thou indeed reign over us? or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us? And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for his words.

His brothers aren't very much older than him, they are all pretty much the same age. Jacob moved to Laban, then 7 years later got married, 7 years later married again, 7 years later left. It was when Joseph was born that he left. So, the oldest brother (Reuben) could only be 14 years older than Joseph. Joseph is now 17, Reuben might be 31.

⁹And he dreamed yet another dream, and told it his brethren, and said, Behold, I have dreamed a dream more; and, behold, the sun and the moon and the eleven stars made obeisance to me.

Sun and moon were the parents (even though his mother was dead) and the 11 stars were 11 of the other symbols of the Zodiac. We don't know which one Joseph was. Based on the era, I'd expect it to have been Taurus.

Joseph told everyone his dream. The older brothers hated him more, but Jacob listened and enjoyed the story.

¹²And his brethren went to feed their father's flock in Shechem.

¹³And Israel said unto Joseph, Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem? come, and I will send thee unto them. And he said to him, Here am I.

Odd that the brothers would actually go back to Shechem. That place is named after Shechem, the guy who raped Dinah, and then the brothers killed. Jacob and his boys fled there because they were afraid they would be killed in retribution.

¹⁴And he said to him, Go, I pray thee, see whether it be well with thy brethren, and well with the flocks; and bring me word again. So he sent him out of the vale of Hebron, and he came to Shechem.

Jacob goes looking for his brothers. They weren't there, so he asks a man where they went, and the guy said to Dothan. Dothan is about 100 km (62 miles) north of Hebron (they left from the "vale of Hebron" vale=valley). So, Jacob sends his son, who he loves the most, about 60 miles, by himself, to go find his brothers. He sends him to an area where Jacob himself has fled, scared for his life, because his sons killed the male residents of an entire city.

As Jacob approached his brothers, they saw him, and conspired to kill him.

¹⁹And they said one to another, Behold, this dreamer cometh.

²⁰Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into some pit, and we will say, Some evil beast hath devoured him: and we shall see what will become of his dreams.

Why not just say that the Hivites killed him as revenge for Shechem?

²¹And Reuben heard it, and he delivered him out of their hands; and said, Let us not kill him.

Reuben to the rescue. Some people say Reuben did this because he was attempting to make up for his sleeping with Bilhah. That Reuben spent the rest of his life, trying to make amends for that; attempting to get back into the good graces of his father. What better way to do it, than to help his father's favorite son survive.

²²And Reuben said unto them, Shed no blood, but cast him into this pit that is in the wilderness, and lay no hand upon him; that he might rid him out of their hands, to deliver him to his father again.

Did Reuben actually plan to return Joseph to Jacob?

²⁴And they took him, and cast him into a pit: and the pit was empty, there was no water in it.

They put him into a pit, not a well.

²⁵And they sat down to eat bread: and they lifted up their eyes and looked, and, behold, a company of Ishmeelites came from Gilead with their camels bearing spicery and balm and myrrh, going to carry it down to Egypt.

Ishmeelites, are descendants of Ishmael, they were Arabs. Ishmael was born in 1970 BC. I'm not exactly sure what year this is (I'll fix that in a bit), but it's long enough that the 10 oldest sons of Jacob don't recognize their cousins by name. Ishmael is their grandfather Isaac's brother.

²⁶And Judah said unto his brethren, What profit is it if we slay our brother, and conceal his blood?

²⁷Come, and let us sell him to the Ishmeelites, and let not our hand be upon him; for he is our brother and our flesh. And his brethren were content.

Judah devises a plan to sell their brother. The brothers agree.

²⁸Then there passed by Midianites merchantmen; and they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and sold Joseph to the Ishmeelites for twenty pieces of silver: and they brought Joseph into Egypt.

As the brothers were plotting to sell their brother to the Ishmeelites, some Midianites did it instead. Midian was one of the other sons of Abraham (possibly the full brother of Ishmael; definitely the half brother of Isaac). So, the boys relatively close cousins, sold their brother, to another set of their close cousins.

²⁹And Reuben returned unto the pit; and, behold, Joseph was not in the pit; and he rent his clothes.

³⁰And he returned unto his brethren, and said, The child is not; and I, whither shall I go?

Reuben is scared that Jacob is going to beat the crap out of him, for losing Joseph. Why even come up with a story? When Jacob asks where Joseph is, just tell him, you never saw him.

³¹And they took Joseph's coat, and killed a kid of the goats, and dipped the coat in the blood;

³²And they sent the coat of many colours, and they brought it to their father; and said, This have we found: know now whether it be thy son's coat or no.

Ok, they kind of used the "we never saw him story". Throwing in the coat, made it that much better. When Jacob saw the coat, he knew is was Joseph's so he expressed grief.

³⁵And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him.

³⁶And the Midianites sold him into Egypt unto Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh's, and captain of the guard.

Sons and daughters? Jacob only had one daughter, Dinah, this verse must mean the older boys' wives.

Potiphar means "he who Ra gave". Other than the bible, there is no evidence that Potiphar ever lived.

Genesis 38

¹And it came to pass at that time, that Judah went down from his brethren, and turned in to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah.

²And Judah saw there a daughter of a certain Canaanite, whose name was Shuah; and he took her, and went in unto her.

Judah had a buddy named Hirah, from the town of Adullam. They were at a party together, and Hirah introduced Judah to a Canaanite woman named Shuah. Judah proceeded to have sex with her.

³And she conceived, and bare a son; and he called his name Er.

⁴And she conceived again, and bare a son; and she called his name Onan.

⁵And she yet again conceived, and bare a son; and called his name Shelah: and he was at Chezib, when she bare him.

Judah had 3 sons with Shuah. They were Er, Onan, and Shelah. Er's name doesn't really mean anything. In Hebrew it's עֵר which when read backwards is "evil". So Er was so evil that his name shouldn't be spelled correctly, his name is actually, Re. Onan means "strong". Shelah means "petition".

⁶And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar.

Tamar was extremely beautiful.

⁷And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.

God killed Er (Re) for being extremely wicked. It seems like god himself did the killing, but it was probably an angel who did it for him, either way, god is very hands on right here.

⁸And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.

Even though god himself had Er (re) killed, Judah thought Er should have an offspring. This is one of the parts of the bible that I find to be really interesting. Apparently, according to Hebrew law/tradition (we'll get into it again later), if a brother dies (without an heir), then his younger brother is to get the widow pregnant, and that child is considered to be the offspring of the dead brother. That will keep the original brother's name alive.

⁹And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

¹⁰And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

Onan didn't want to be the father of Er's child, so he didn't inseminate Tamar. According to one Tamar myth, she was so beautiful, that the brothers didn't want to spoil her beauty, by making her pregnant. Some people think that when a woman becomes pregnant, they are more beautiful, Er and Onan didn't want Tamar to get birthing hips.

Genesis 38:9-10 is the reason that most Judeau-Christian religions say that masturbation is a sin. They equate Onan spilling his seed to masturbation, and also coitus interruptus. If you ever were made to feel guilty about masturbation, Gen. 38:9 and 10 is the reason.

¹¹Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, Remain a widow at thy father's house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, Lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father's house.

Judah sends Tamar to her parents place. He then intends for her to marry Shelah, when he comes of age.

¹²And in process of time the daughter of Shuah Judah's wife died; and Judah was comforted, and went up unto his sheepshearers to Timnath, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite.

Judah is out partying again with Hirah. Tamar hears that Shelah is old enough to marry, and she's wondering why she isn't married to him yet? She took off her widow clothes and put on a veil.

¹⁵When Judah saw her, he thought her to be an harlot; because she had covered her face.

Judah was apparently drunk enough to not recognize his daughter in law, the girl who married two of his sons. Remember, alcoholism runs rampant in this family.

¹⁶And he turned unto her by the way, and said, Go to, I pray thee, let me come in unto thee; (for he knew not that she was his daughter in law.) And she said, What wilt thou give me, that thou mayest come in unto me?

Judah talks dirty to her: "let me come in unto thee". Sounds so much more poetic than "i want to f--- you". Even though, that's what he said. She said "you want to f--- me, what will you give me?"

¹⁷And he said, I will send thee a kid from the flock. And she said, Wilt thou give me a pledge, till thou send it?

Wow, a whole kid from the flock. He didn't have it with him, so she asked for a pledge.

¹⁸And he said, What pledge shall I give thee? And she said, Thy signet, and thy bracelets, and thy staff that is in thine hand. And he gave it her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him.

So, she asked for his seal, and some bracelets, and his staff. Well, he went "in unto her" and she got pregnant.

What happened to his wife Shuah?

Later, he goes back with the goat, to get his things back, and asks where the harlot was. The townspeople are like "ain't no harlot here". Judah was like "and I brought the goat for nothing".

²⁴And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.

Someone tells Judah that Tamar was pregnant. He gets angry, and wants to burn her.

²⁵When she was brought forth, she sent to her father in law, saying, By the man, whose these are, am I with child: and she said, Discern, I pray thee, whose are these, the signet, and bracelets, and staff.

Tamar says, the man who got me pregnant is this guy... it just happens to be Judah's stuff. Judah realizes his error, in not giving her to Shelah.

She was pregnant with twins. One put his hand out first to be born, and the midwife put a red thread on his wrist. He then pulled his hand back, and the child without the red was born first. The one without the ribbon was named Pharez, the one with the ribbon was named Zarah. Zarah means "sunrise" because that was the color of the thread; Pharez means "breach" since he was supposed to be born second, but knocked his brother out of the way.

The tradition holds that the first children born to a widow are the dead husband's. So, even though Pharez and Zarah are Judah's children, they technically are Er's.

Genesis 39

Back to the story of Joseph.

¹And Joseph was brought down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him of the hands of the Ishmeelites, which had brought him down thither.

Joseph now belonged to Potiphar; yes, we knew that.

²And the LORD was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.

Joseph was the top slave.

⁵And it came to pass from the time that he had made him overseer in his house, and over all that he had, that the LORD blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; and the blessing of the LORD was upon all that he had in the house, and in the field.

Everything Joseph did turned out good.

⁷And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me.

Verse 6 says Joseph was well favoured, not exactly sure what that means, but it probably means he was very attractive. He comes from a line of women who are extremely hot, he probably was a very handsome man as well.

¹⁰And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her.

She REALLY wanted to lie with him. He was having none of it.

¹²And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.

Really wanted to lie with him. She had a piece of his clothes.

¹⁴That she called unto the men of her house, and spake unto them, saying, See, he hath brought in an Hebrew unto us to mock us; he came in unto me to lie with me, and I cried with a loud voice:

¹⁵And it came to pass, when he heard that I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled, and got him out.

Since he wouldn't lie with her, she decided that she'd say he did, and get him in trouble.

¹⁹And it came to pass, when his master heard the words of his wife, which she spake unto him, saying, After this manner did thy servant to me; that his wrath was kindled.

²⁰And Joseph's master took him, and put him into the prison, a place where the king's prisoners were bound: and he was there in the prison.

So, Joseph was put in jail. Oddly, he wasn't killed. A slave raping the master's wife should really be a capital crime. Even if it's only attempted rape. Somehow, Joseph managed to get out of it.

²¹But the LORD was with Joseph, and shewed him mercy, and gave him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison.

²²And the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph's hand all the prisoners that were in the prison; and whatsoever they did there, he was the doer of it.

Joseph managed to work his way to the top of the prison hierarchy, just like he did Potiphar's house. Joseph was really good at doing that.

Points to ponder for today:

1. Would a man who truly loves his son, send him 60+ miles to go check on his brothers? Especially if they are in an area where there are death threats against them.

2. Why didn't the brothers recognize their cousins the Ishmeelites, or the Midianites? Why didn't those cousins return their cousin to Jacob? Surely they would have made introductions at the pit.

Hello, I'm Reuben, the son of Jacob (Israel), the son of Isaac, the son of Abraham.
Hello, I'm ... uh... bob, the Ishmeelite, the son of (maybe) Nebajoth, the son of Ishmael, the son of Abraham.
Oh my gawd, we're cousins.

Meanwhile some Midianites come by.

Hi, I'm Tony the Midianite, the son of bill, the son of brad, the son of Midian, the son of Abraham.

What a small world running into two cousins out here in the field of Shechem. (Reuben continues) Hey, you guys want to go kill some Hittites?

3. Er, Onan, and Sheleh, the first three sons of Judah. Then there's two more, Zarah and Pharez, one of those 5 sons is important later. The other just is all about masturbation.

4. If Potiphar never existed, then does the story hold up?

Day 12. Genesis 34-36

Genesis 34-36

Genesis 34

¹And Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land.

²And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her.

Dinah's name means "judged, vindicated".

The Hivites are also descendants of Canaan. (Gen. 10:17). So they are black as well.

This incident is commonly referred to as, the Rape of Dinah.

³And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel.

Shechem loved Dinah? Perhaps he was just infatuated. Unless it's love at first sight; except that's not real love, that's infatuation/lust/desire.

Shechem asked his father Hamor to get him to marry Dinah.

⁵And Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter: now his sons were with his cattle in the field: and Jacob held his peace until they were come.

Even though Jacob (at nearly 60) was able to wrestle god, and win until god cheated; he didn't want to get into a fight with Hamor... at least until his 11 sons were there to back him up.

⁷And the sons of Jacob came out of the field when they heard it: and the men were grieved, and they were very wroth, because he had wrought folly in Israel in lying with Jacob's daughter: which thing ought not to be done.

Why is the land called Israel, when Jacob isn't yet? He was told his name was Israel, why isn't he going by Israel?

Hamor pleads with Jacob, saying his son really loves Dinah. Why don't your people and our people make marriages together. Well, Jacob is probably a racist like his dad and grandfather. Shechem asks what dowry they can provide so that he can marry Dinah.

¹³And the sons of Jacob answered Shechem and Hamor his father deceitfully, and said, because he had defiled Dinah their sister:

¹⁴And they said unto them, We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one that is uncircumcised; for that were a reproach unto us:

¹⁵But in this will we consent unto you: If ye will be as we be, that every male of you be circumcised;

¹⁶Then will we give our daughters unto you, and we will take your daughters to us, and we will dwell with you, and we will become one people.

If your men become circumcised, then we will marry your daughters, and you can marry ours... even though they only had Dinah.

Hamor and Shechem thought this was a good idea.

²⁴And unto Hamor and unto Shechem his son hearkened all that went out of the gate of his city; and every male was circumcised, all that went out of the gate of his city.

Hamor and Shechem, and all the men of the city were circumcised.

²⁵And it came to pass on the third day, when they were sore, that two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brethren, took each man his sword, and came upon the city boldly, and slew all the males.

The men were sitting around, with their very tender penis'; and Simeon and Levi came to town with their swords and killed all the men. I like the word "boldly". It implies that Simeon and Levi had courage. How much courage does it take to fight against a man who has one hand on his extremely sore penis?

²⁶And they slew Hamor and Shechem his son with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah out of Shechem's house, and went out.

They even killed Hamor and Shechem.

²⁷The sons of Jacob came upon the slain, and spoiled the city, because they had defiled their sister.

The rest of the brothers came and took all the livestock, and all the gold.

²⁹And all their wealth, and all their little ones, and their wives took they captive, and spoiled even all that was in the house.

They even took the children and the wives. Those boys really wanted to revenge their sisters rape.

Jacob calls Simeon and Levi and says, you made the Canaanites hate us now. Now they are going to come after us.

³¹And they said, Should he deal with our sister as with an harlot?

And that's how Dinah earned her name of "vindicated". Odd how Dinah got her name of "vindicated" when she was born, and then after her rape, the rapist, and his whole town got killed, thus providing her ultimate vindication.

I find it odd that this story would be included in the bible. Here we see the punishment for rape is complete destruction of the town that was the home of the rapist. Later, in Deuteronomy 22, we'll get the new law for rape. Here it is. Deut. 22: ²⁸If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;

²⁹Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

In Deut, we see the punishment for a rapist is he has to pay the father 50 shekels of silver, and marry the girl, additionally, he can't divorce her. In the Dinah rape story, we see Shechem offering to marry her, and also offered to pay whatever dowry Jacob and his sons asked. They asked for foreskins.

Why would Moses put in the law of 50 shekels and marriage, when precedence has already been set that you get to kill the rapists entire city?

It's because the Deuteronomy laws only deal with Hebrews amongst Hebrews. The Deuteronomy law for rape wouldn't apply to a Hivite raping a Hebrew anyway. Since the people were Hivites (descendants of Canaan) and black anyway, it didn't really matter that they were all killed. Jacob, like his father and grandfather, didn't want his sons marrying any blacks. He definitely isn't going to let his daughter marry a black.

Genesis 35

¹And God said unto Jacob, Arise, go up to Bethel, and dwell there: and make there an altar unto God, that appeared unto thee when thou fleddest from the face of Esau thy brother.

That's really convenient of god to tell Jacob to leave when he's probably going to be chased out of town anyway.

²Then Jacob said unto his household, and to all that were with him, Put away the strange gods that are among you, and be clean, and change your garments:

Odd how Jacob allowed his people to have strange gods, except when they were going to Bethel.

⁵And they journeyed: and the terror of God was upon the cities that were round about them, and they did not pursue after the sons of Jacob.

This is the first use of the word terror in the bible. I find it interesting that the thing that causes terror (terrorist) is god.

⁸But Deborah, Rebekah's nurse died, and she was buried beneath Bethel under an oak: and the name of it was called Allonbachuth.

Who is Deborah? Why is she being carried around by Jacob? Rebekah was Jacob's mother, was she still around at this point? Why is she important enough to name here? This is the only mention of her. The next time we hear of a Deborah is in Judges. Apparently Allon-bachuth means "oak of weeping". Someone really loved Deborah.

¹⁰And God said unto him, Thy name is Jacob: thy name shall not be called any more Jacob, but Israel shall be thy name: and he called his name Israel.

He was already name changed back in Genesis 32:28, of course, that time it didn't stick, but now it will... probably.

¹¹And God said unto him, I am God Almighty: be fruitful and multiply; a nation and a company of nations shall be of thee, and kings shall come out of thy loins;

¹²And the land which I gave Abraham and Isaac, to thee I will give it, and to thy seed after thee will I give the land.

All these promises have been said before.

¹⁵And Jacob called the name of the place where God spake with him, Bethel.

How many times is this place going to be named Bethel?

¹⁶And they journeyed from Bethel; and there was but a little way to come to Ephrath: and Rachel travailed, and she had hard labour.

Rachel was pregnant again?

¹⁸And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name Benoni: but his father called him Benjamin.

Nice of Abraham to honor his dieing wife's wish and name the son that killed her the thing that she named it. Of course, Benoni means "son of my pain". What else could it mean? Benjamin probably means "son who killed my beautiful loving wife, I hate this boy". Nope, Ben means "son of" Jamin means "right" or "right hand" or "south". Some scholars say that his name is Benjamim, the mim meanding "days". Which would mean that Abraham named his son "son of days" referencing his old age.

¹⁹And Rachel died, and was buried in the way to Ephrath, which is Bethlehem.

²⁰And Jacob set a pillar upon her grave: that is the pillar of Rachel's grave unto this day.

Well, the claim of "unto this day" is kind of doubtful. There is a place in Isreal, on the south of Jerusalem, that is named Kever Rochel "Rachel's Tomb". It is traditionally considered to be that. Somehow, the Hebrews managed to go into captivity in Egypt, come out, take over the whole land, and remember exactly where one person was buried. Additionally, they were carried away to Babylon, and returned, and knew where it was. Then the land was captured by the muslims... and they knew where it was...

²²And it came to pass, when Israel dwelt in that land, that Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father's concubine: and Israel heard it. Now the sons of Jacob were twelve:

Reuben lay with his dad's concubine? Reuben was the oldest. Sleeping with his father's concubine was a grievous offense. Oddly, this is considered incest, and taboo, but marrying your cousin isn't.

Next is a list of Jacob's sons.

Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, Joseph, Benjamin, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher.

²⁷And Jacob came unto Isaac his father unto Mamre, unto the city of Arbah, which is Hebron, where Abraham and Isaac sojourned.

²⁸And the days of Isaac were an hundred and fourscore years.

²⁹And Isaac gave up the ghost, and died, and was gathered unto his people, being old and full of days: and his sons Esau and Jacob buried him.

Isaac dies at 180. If Isaac now dies, this is at least 20 years after Jacob stole the blessing. He lived with dim vision for a long time. Isaac was 60 when the boys were born, so they were 120 when Isaac died. If they were 40 at the time of the blessing incident, then Isaac was 100 and this is now 80 years after that.

Genesis 36

¹Now these are the generations of Esau, who is Edom.

Edom, means red, Esau was red.

²Esau took his wives of the daughters of Canaan; Adah the daughter of Elon the Hittite, and Aholibamah the daughter of Anah the daughter of Zibeon the Hivite;

³And Bashemath Ishmael's daughter, sister of Nebajoth.

Uh... what? Gen 26:34 And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite: and Gen. 28:9 Then went Esau unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives which he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham's son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife.

Gen 26:34/28:9 says he married Judith Beeri and Bashemath Elon and Mahalath Ishmael.
Now, Gen 36:2/3 says he married Anah Zibeon and Adah Elon and Bashemath Ishmael.

There's a bit of inconsistency there. This is a whopping 10 chapters later that it can't get the wives of Esau correct. Since lineage is so important, why can't they get it right?

⁶And Esau took his wives, and his sons, and his daughters, and all the persons of his house, and his cattle, and all his beasts, and all his substance, which he had got in the land of Canaan; and went into the country from the face of his brother Jacob.

⁷For their riches were more than that they might dwell together; and the land wherein they were strangers could not bear them because of their cattle.

Very similar to Lot and Abraham. The land couldn't hold both, son one of them moved away.

What follows in verses 9-43 is a list of the offspring of Esau. Remember, the bible is supposedly an accurate historical document. We see it can't get the history right, does it still get the theology right?

Points to ponder:

1. If Esau became the father of the Edomites, then was the blessing that Isaac bestowed upon him correct?

2. Does murdering an entire town justify the rape of your sister?

3. Is the lineage important?

Day 11. Genesis 31-33

Genesis 31-33

Genesis 31

¹And he heard the words of Laban's sons, saying, Jacob hath taken away all that was our father's; and of that which was our father's hath he gotten all this glory.

Laban's sons are angry about something... what could it be?

²And Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban, and, behold, it was not toward him as before.

Laban is now pissed about something... what could it be?

³And the LORD said unto Jacob, Return unto the land of thy fathers, and to thy kindred; and I will be with thee.

Right when Jacob's cousins and Jacob's uncle are really really mad at him, god conveniently tells him to run back to where his parents live.

So Jacob calls Rachel and Leah to him, and he tells them, "it's not my fault". He may actually believe that it's not his fault. He is probably deluded enough to actually think that he's done nothing wrong. Granted, I don't believe that you would get spotted cows from putting sticks in front of them when they are drinking, but Jacob believes it to be so.

⁶And ye know that with all my power I have served your father.

⁷And your father hath deceived me, and changed my wages ten times; but God suffered him not to hurt me.

He's saying this to Leah and Rachel. LEAH AND RACHEL. I can understand telling it to Rachel, but he's telling Leah. Surely she's really happy about being reminded that he didn't want to marry her, that he wanted Rachel, and he was tricked by Laban. She must get a real kick out of that.

⁸If he said thus, The speckled shall be thy wages; then all the cattle bare speckled: and if he said thus, The ringstraked shall be thy hire; then bare all the cattle ringstraked.

⁹Thus God hath taken away the cattle of your father, and given them to me.

It's not my fault, the stick thing worked.

¹⁴And Rachel and Leah answered and said unto him, Is there yet any portion or inheritance for us in our father's house?

Wow, Rachel and Leah have 12 children between the two of them (Zilpah and Bilhah's kids kind of count to their number), Jacob has managed to make off with all the good livestock, and Rachel and Leah still want an inheritance.

¹⁵Are we not counted of him strangers? for he hath sold us, and hath quite devoured also our money.

¹⁶For all the riches which God hath taken from our father, that is ours, and our children's: now then, whatsoever God hath said unto thee, do.

Now, Jacob has managed to get his wives to say that it isn't his fault either.

Jacob then takes his wives and sons and cattle and everything else.

¹⁹And Laban went to shear his sheep: and Rachel had stolen the images that were her father's.

This will be important in a bit.

²⁰And Jacob stole away unawares to Laban the Syrian, in that he told him not that he fled.

He was unaware, because he didn't tell him. That sentence is rather redundant.

²²And it was told Laban on the third day that Jacob was fled.

They didn't notice that Jacob, Zilpah, Bilhah, Leah, Rachel, 12 children, and a whole lot of livestock were missing... for three days. Laban chased after them and caught them after 7 days.

²⁴And God came to Laban the Syrian in a dream by night, and said unto him, Take heed that thou speak not to Jacob either good or bad.

Nice of god to do Jacob's dirty work.

²⁶And Laban said to Jacob, What hast thou done, that thou hast stolen away unawares to me, and carried away my daughters, as captives taken with the sword?

²⁷Wherefore didst thou flee away secretly, and steal away from me; and didst not tell me, that I might have sent thee away with mirth, and with songs, with tabret, and with harp?

After Jacob managed to leave Laban with only feeble cattle, I'd expect Laban to sing great songs of him leaving.

²⁸And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters? thou hast now done foolishly in so doing.

You didn't even let me tell my daughters and grandkids goodbye.

Laban mentions that it's in his right to hurt Jacob. I wonder if this is another one of those "my people's traditions" like the firstborn daughter has to be married first, traditions.

³⁰And now, though thou wouldest needs be gone, because thou sore longedst after thy father's house, yet wherefore hast thou stolen my gods?

Laban didn't worship the god of Abraham. Rachel took them, no one really knew that she did.

³²With whomsoever thou findest thy gods, let him not live: before our brethren discern thou what is thine with me, and take it to thee. For Jacob knew not that Rachel had stolen them.

Jacob said, whoever took them, should be killed. He probably assumed it was Leah, Zilpah or Bilhah. He didn't really care if they died.

Laban then searches from tent to tent, first Jacob's, then Leah's, then Zilpah's, Bilhah's, and finally gets to Rachel's tent.

³⁴Now Rachel had taken the images, and put them in the camel's furniture, and sat upon them. And Laban searched all the tent, but found them not.

Camel's furniture was probably a saddle.

³⁵And she said to her father, Let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise up before thee; for the custom of women is upon me. And he searched but found not the images.

Rachel lied to her father. Saying she had her period. That's a good daughter.

³⁶And Jacob was wroth, and chode with Laban: and Jacob answered and said to Laban, What is my trespass? what is my sin, that thou hast so hotly pursued after me?

³⁷Whereas thou hast searched all my stuff, what hast thou found of all thy household stuff? set it here before my brethren and thy brethren, that they may judge betwixt us both.

Jacob now has the balls to speak up to Laban. He's (technically) in the wrong, he just doesn't know it.

³⁸This twenty years have I been with thee; thy ewes and thy she goats have not cast their young, and the rams of thy flock have I not eaten.

(21 actually)

⁴¹Thus have I been twenty years in thy house; I served thee fourteen years for thy two daughters, and six years for thy cattle: and thou hast changed my wages ten times.

It's weird how they keep saying six years, when in Gen 29:30 it says he served another seven years.

Jacob says that Laban would have attacked him if it wasn't for the dream. Laban says that everything Jacob has is actually his. Finally they make a truce. They build a pills and had a feast there.

⁴⁷And Laban called it Jegarsahadutha: but Jacob called it Galeed.

Laban called the place "pile of testimony" in either Aramaic or Syriac. Jacob called it "heap of witness" in Hebrew.

⁵⁰If thou shalt afflict my daughters, or if thou shalt take other wives beside my daughters, no man is with us; see, God is witness betwixt me and thee.

Laban cared enough to curse Jacob if he took some other wives.

⁵²This heap be witness, and this pillar be witness, that I will not pass over this heap to thee, and that thou shalt not pass over this heap and this pillar unto me, for harm.

That was the line in the sand. Neither was to cross.

⁵⁵And early in the morning Laban rose up, and kissed his sons and his daughters, and blessed them: and Laban departed, and returned unto his place.

Laban apparently has enough blessings to go around for all of his daughters and grandchildren, unlike Isaac.

Genesis 32

¹And Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him.

He called that place Mahanaim. Mahanaim means two camps. You'll see why in a bit.

³And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother unto the land of Seir, the country of Edom.

Edom, that's the land of Esau. This verse is another repetitive one.

⁴And he commanded them, saying, Thus shall ye speak unto my lord Esau; Thy servant Jacob saith thus, I have sojourned with Laban, and stayed there until now:

⁵And I have oxen, and asses, flocks, and menservants, and womenservants: and I have sent to tell my lord, that I may find grace in thy sight.

It's been 20 or 21 years since he ran away. Now he comes back, because he's worn out his welcome at uncle Laban's.

⁶And the messengers returned to Jacob, saying, We came to thy brother Esau, and also he cometh to meet thee, and four hundred men with him.

Esau, who didn't get a blessing, now has 400 people working for him. Jacob has 4 wives, 11 sons, 1 daughter, a lot of livestock, and a couple men working for him. Esau is coming with 400.

⁷Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed: and he divided the people that was with him, and the flocks, and herds, and the camels, into two bands;

Divided into two bands, Mahanaim.

⁸And said, If Esau come to the one company, and smite it, then the other company which is left shall escape.

Jacob is courageous. He prayed.

⁹And Jacob said, O God of my father Abraham, and God of my father Isaac, the LORD which saidst unto me, Return unto thy country, and to thy kindred, and I will deal well with thee:

¹⁰I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast shewed unto thy servant; for with my staff I passed over this Jordan; and now I am become two bands.

¹¹Deliver me, I pray thee, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau: for I fear him, lest he will come and smite me, and the mother with the children.

¹²And thou saidst, I will surely do thee good, and make thy seed as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.

God, please don't let my brother kill me. God, remember when you said my offspring would be like the sand, now would be a good time to remember that.

Jacob then prepares a gift for his brother.

200 she-goats
20 male goats
200 ewes
20 rams
30 milch camels (milk camels) with their colts (so they would continue to produce milk)
40 kine (cows)
10 bulls
20 female donkeys
10 foals

¹⁶And he delivered them into the hand of his servants, every drove by themselves; and said unto his servants, Pass over before me, and put a space betwixt drove and drove.

Jacob had them sent over in waves, so that he'd be able to see if Esau slaughtered them all as they showed up.

²⁰And say ye moreover, Behold, thy servant Jacob is behind us. For he said, I will appease him with the present that goeth before me, and afterward I will see his face; peradventure he will accept of me.

Jacob still believes that Esau is going to kill him.

²²And he rose up that night, and took his two wives, and his two womenservants, and his eleven sons, and passed over the ford Jabbok.

²³And he took them, and sent them over the brook, and sent over that he had.

Jacob then sends his wives over to Esau. He still hasn't showed up yet.

²⁴And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.

Jacob wrestled god that night.

²⁵And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.

The almighty, all powerful god couldn't beat Jacob. So god cheated. God dislocated Jacob's thigh.

²⁶And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.

God said "let me go, it's about to be morning". Is god a vampire? Does he have to be back in heaven before the sun comes up? He already showed he can't beat Jacob, who is a real wussie, and now he's so fair that he can't be in the sunshine?

²⁸And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed.

Jacob is now named Israel. Oddly, Jacob means "heel" or "leg-puller" as though he was destined to have his leg pulled. Israel means "persevere with god", since he managed to fight god all night.

²⁹And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there.

³⁰And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.

Jacob may be renamed, but he isn't referred to as Israel yet.

³²Therefore the children of Israel eat not of the sinew which shrank, which is upon the hollow of the thigh, unto this day: because he touched the hollow of Jacob's thigh in the sinew that shrank.

This has definitely been added after the event. It should be a side note instead of an actual verse. I'm surprised the authors of the KJV1611 allowed that verse to remain in.

Genesis 33

¹And Jacob lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, Esau came, and with him four hundred men. And he divided the children unto Leah, and unto Rachel, and unto the two handmaids.

If you come from a family with many children, ask your parents how they would divide up the kids. Which ones are they willing to sacrifice first, which ones stay behind.

Jacob made the decision quickly.

²And he put the handmaids and their children foremost, and Leah and her children after, and Rachel and Joseph hindermost.

Zilpah and her kids along with Bilhah and her kids (that's 2 wives and 4 kids) then Leah and her 6 boys and Dinah, finally Rachel and Jacob.

³And he passed over before them, and bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.

Jacob stops several times, bowing, hoping that Esau won't kill him.

⁴And Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him: and they wept.

Esau's crying from joy from seeing his brother again. Jacob is crying because he's happy that his brother isn't going to kill him.

⁵And he lifted up his eyes, and saw the women and the children; and said, Who are those with thee? And he said, The children which God hath graciously given thy servant.

Uncle Esau then meets his nephews and niece, and their mothers. He asks what all the livestock was for, Jacob says it was a gift (in the hopes that you don't kill me; or that you start killing them and I notice and can run away). Esau says he has enough.

Jacob asks for Esau to please take them, Jacob has more than he can deal with. So Esau nicely accepts.

¹⁷And Jacob journeyed to Succoth, and built him an house, and made booths for his cattle: therefore the name of the place is called Succoth.

He journeyed to a place, and then named it? Once again, an example of a place being named in the bible before it's actually named. Sukkot means booths.

¹⁸And Jacob came to Shalem, a city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan, when he came from Padanaram; and pitched his tent before the city.

¹⁹And he bought a parcel of a field, where he had spread his tent, at the hand of the children of Hamor, Shechem's father, for an hundred pieces of money.

He just built a house, after you do that, isn't it time that you put the tents away? Wierd that they actually call the city Shechem. In Genesis 12:6 it was called Sichem.

²⁰And he erected there an altar, and called it EleloheIsrael.

El-Elohe-Israel means' God, the God of Israel.

Things to ponder for today:

1. Did Laban have the right to smite Jacob? Why would a JUST GOD not allow Jacob to be attacked by Laban when Jacobs party did steal from Laban?

2. How old was Jacob at the end? 40 + 20, was he 60?

3. If God can't beat a 60 year old man at wrestling without cheating, is he really worthy of being called all-powerful?

4. If you are afraid for your life, the best thing to to is attempt to bribe your opponent.

5. I'm surprised Jacob didn't pull out the old "she's my sister" line, when introducing Rachel. That seems to be a popular line used by the patriarchs when going into new land. Jacob probably thought it but didn't say it.

6. The Paleo-Hebrew alphabet first came around in the 10th century BC (1000 BC). Jacob is routinely believed to have lived around 1831 BC . This story would have been an oral tradition for about 831 years. No wonder people were named descriptively. Jacob named "leg puller" later renamed to Israel "god wrestler". Leah, the tender eyed one named "weary". Were these people actually named that, or did the story just evolve to include their names that way? Ham, Shem, Japheth... I wonder what Methuselah means. Probably "guy who lived the longest"... wait, no, it's "when he dies, it shall be sent". Coincidence that when he died that's when the flood started?