Day 11. Genesis 31-33

Genesis 31-33

Genesis 31

¹And he heard the words of Laban's sons, saying, Jacob hath taken away all that was our father's; and of that which was our father's hath he gotten all this glory.

Laban's sons are angry about something... what could it be?

²And Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban, and, behold, it was not toward him as before.

Laban is now pissed about something... what could it be?

³And the LORD said unto Jacob, Return unto the land of thy fathers, and to thy kindred; and I will be with thee.

Right when Jacob's cousins and Jacob's uncle are really really mad at him, god conveniently tells him to run back to where his parents live.

So Jacob calls Rachel and Leah to him, and he tells them, "it's not my fault". He may actually believe that it's not his fault. He is probably deluded enough to actually think that he's done nothing wrong. Granted, I don't believe that you would get spotted cows from putting sticks in front of them when they are drinking, but Jacob believes it to be so.

⁶And ye know that with all my power I have served your father.

⁷And your father hath deceived me, and changed my wages ten times; but God suffered him not to hurt me.

He's saying this to Leah and Rachel. LEAH AND RACHEL. I can understand telling it to Rachel, but he's telling Leah. Surely she's really happy about being reminded that he didn't want to marry her, that he wanted Rachel, and he was tricked by Laban. She must get a real kick out of that.

⁸If he said thus, The speckled shall be thy wages; then all the cattle bare speckled: and if he said thus, The ringstraked shall be thy hire; then bare all the cattle ringstraked.

⁹Thus God hath taken away the cattle of your father, and given them to me.

It's not my fault, the stick thing worked.

¹⁴And Rachel and Leah answered and said unto him, Is there yet any portion or inheritance for us in our father's house?

Wow, Rachel and Leah have 12 children between the two of them (Zilpah and Bilhah's kids kind of count to their number), Jacob has managed to make off with all the good livestock, and Rachel and Leah still want an inheritance.

¹⁵Are we not counted of him strangers? for he hath sold us, and hath quite devoured also our money.

¹⁶For all the riches which God hath taken from our father, that is ours, and our children's: now then, whatsoever God hath said unto thee, do.

Now, Jacob has managed to get his wives to say that it isn't his fault either.

Jacob then takes his wives and sons and cattle and everything else.

¹⁹And Laban went to shear his sheep: and Rachel had stolen the images that were her father's.

This will be important in a bit.

²⁰And Jacob stole away unawares to Laban the Syrian, in that he told him not that he fled.

He was unaware, because he didn't tell him. That sentence is rather redundant.

²²And it was told Laban on the third day that Jacob was fled.

They didn't notice that Jacob, Zilpah, Bilhah, Leah, Rachel, 12 children, and a whole lot of livestock were missing... for three days. Laban chased after them and caught them after 7 days.

²⁴And God came to Laban the Syrian in a dream by night, and said unto him, Take heed that thou speak not to Jacob either good or bad.

Nice of god to do Jacob's dirty work.

²⁶And Laban said to Jacob, What hast thou done, that thou hast stolen away unawares to me, and carried away my daughters, as captives taken with the sword?

²⁷Wherefore didst thou flee away secretly, and steal away from me; and didst not tell me, that I might have sent thee away with mirth, and with songs, with tabret, and with harp?

After Jacob managed to leave Laban with only feeble cattle, I'd expect Laban to sing great songs of him leaving.

²⁸And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters? thou hast now done foolishly in so doing.

You didn't even let me tell my daughters and grandkids goodbye.

Laban mentions that it's in his right to hurt Jacob. I wonder if this is another one of those "my people's traditions" like the firstborn daughter has to be married first, traditions.

³⁰And now, though thou wouldest needs be gone, because thou sore longedst after thy father's house, yet wherefore hast thou stolen my gods?

Laban didn't worship the god of Abraham. Rachel took them, no one really knew that she did.

³²With whomsoever thou findest thy gods, let him not live: before our brethren discern thou what is thine with me, and take it to thee. For Jacob knew not that Rachel had stolen them.

Jacob said, whoever took them, should be killed. He probably assumed it was Leah, Zilpah or Bilhah. He didn't really care if they died.

Laban then searches from tent to tent, first Jacob's, then Leah's, then Zilpah's, Bilhah's, and finally gets to Rachel's tent.

³⁴Now Rachel had taken the images, and put them in the camel's furniture, and sat upon them. And Laban searched all the tent, but found them not.

Camel's furniture was probably a saddle.

³⁵And she said to her father, Let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise up before thee; for the custom of women is upon me. And he searched but found not the images.

Rachel lied to her father. Saying she had her period. That's a good daughter.

³⁶And Jacob was wroth, and chode with Laban: and Jacob answered and said to Laban, What is my trespass? what is my sin, that thou hast so hotly pursued after me?

³⁷Whereas thou hast searched all my stuff, what hast thou found of all thy household stuff? set it here before my brethren and thy brethren, that they may judge betwixt us both.

Jacob now has the balls to speak up to Laban. He's (technically) in the wrong, he just doesn't know it.

³⁸This twenty years have I been with thee; thy ewes and thy she goats have not cast their young, and the rams of thy flock have I not eaten.

(21 actually)

⁴¹Thus have I been twenty years in thy house; I served thee fourteen years for thy two daughters, and six years for thy cattle: and thou hast changed my wages ten times.

It's weird how they keep saying six years, when in Gen 29:30 it says he served another seven years.

Jacob says that Laban would have attacked him if it wasn't for the dream. Laban says that everything Jacob has is actually his. Finally they make a truce. They build a pills and had a feast there.

⁴⁷And Laban called it Jegarsahadutha: but Jacob called it Galeed.

Laban called the place "pile of testimony" in either Aramaic or Syriac. Jacob called it "heap of witness" in Hebrew.

⁵⁰If thou shalt afflict my daughters, or if thou shalt take other wives beside my daughters, no man is with us; see, God is witness betwixt me and thee.

Laban cared enough to curse Jacob if he took some other wives.

⁵²This heap be witness, and this pillar be witness, that I will not pass over this heap to thee, and that thou shalt not pass over this heap and this pillar unto me, for harm.

That was the line in the sand. Neither was to cross.

⁵⁵And early in the morning Laban rose up, and kissed his sons and his daughters, and blessed them: and Laban departed, and returned unto his place.

Laban apparently has enough blessings to go around for all of his daughters and grandchildren, unlike Isaac.

Genesis 32

¹And Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him.

He called that place Mahanaim. Mahanaim means two camps. You'll see why in a bit.

³And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother unto the land of Seir, the country of Edom.

Edom, that's the land of Esau. This verse is another repetitive one.

⁴And he commanded them, saying, Thus shall ye speak unto my lord Esau; Thy servant Jacob saith thus, I have sojourned with Laban, and stayed there until now:

⁵And I have oxen, and asses, flocks, and menservants, and womenservants: and I have sent to tell my lord, that I may find grace in thy sight.

It's been 20 or 21 years since he ran away. Now he comes back, because he's worn out his welcome at uncle Laban's.

⁶And the messengers returned to Jacob, saying, We came to thy brother Esau, and also he cometh to meet thee, and four hundred men with him.

Esau, who didn't get a blessing, now has 400 people working for him. Jacob has 4 wives, 11 sons, 1 daughter, a lot of livestock, and a couple men working for him. Esau is coming with 400.

⁷Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed: and he divided the people that was with him, and the flocks, and herds, and the camels, into two bands;

Divided into two bands, Mahanaim.

⁸And said, If Esau come to the one company, and smite it, then the other company which is left shall escape.

Jacob is courageous. He prayed.

⁹And Jacob said, O God of my father Abraham, and God of my father Isaac, the LORD which saidst unto me, Return unto thy country, and to thy kindred, and I will deal well with thee:

¹⁰I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast shewed unto thy servant; for with my staff I passed over this Jordan; and now I am become two bands.

¹¹Deliver me, I pray thee, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau: for I fear him, lest he will come and smite me, and the mother with the children.

¹²And thou saidst, I will surely do thee good, and make thy seed as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.

God, please don't let my brother kill me. God, remember when you said my offspring would be like the sand, now would be a good time to remember that.

Jacob then prepares a gift for his brother.

200 she-goats
20 male goats
200 ewes
20 rams
30 milch camels (milk camels) with their colts (so they would continue to produce milk)
40 kine (cows)
10 bulls
20 female donkeys
10 foals

¹⁶And he delivered them into the hand of his servants, every drove by themselves; and said unto his servants, Pass over before me, and put a space betwixt drove and drove.

Jacob had them sent over in waves, so that he'd be able to see if Esau slaughtered them all as they showed up.

²⁰And say ye moreover, Behold, thy servant Jacob is behind us. For he said, I will appease him with the present that goeth before me, and afterward I will see his face; peradventure he will accept of me.

Jacob still believes that Esau is going to kill him.

²²And he rose up that night, and took his two wives, and his two womenservants, and his eleven sons, and passed over the ford Jabbok.

²³And he took them, and sent them over the brook, and sent over that he had.

Jacob then sends his wives over to Esau. He still hasn't showed up yet.

²⁴And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.

Jacob wrestled god that night.

²⁵And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.

The almighty, all powerful god couldn't beat Jacob. So god cheated. God dislocated Jacob's thigh.

²⁶And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.

God said "let me go, it's about to be morning". Is god a vampire? Does he have to be back in heaven before the sun comes up? He already showed he can't beat Jacob, who is a real wussie, and now he's so fair that he can't be in the sunshine?

²⁸And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed.

Jacob is now named Israel. Oddly, Jacob means "heel" or "leg-puller" as though he was destined to have his leg pulled. Israel means "persevere with god", since he managed to fight god all night.

²⁹And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there.

³⁰And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.

Jacob may be renamed, but he isn't referred to as Israel yet.

³²Therefore the children of Israel eat not of the sinew which shrank, which is upon the hollow of the thigh, unto this day: because he touched the hollow of Jacob's thigh in the sinew that shrank.

This has definitely been added after the event. It should be a side note instead of an actual verse. I'm surprised the authors of the KJV1611 allowed that verse to remain in.

Genesis 33

¹And Jacob lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, Esau came, and with him four hundred men. And he divided the children unto Leah, and unto Rachel, and unto the two handmaids.

If you come from a family with many children, ask your parents how they would divide up the kids. Which ones are they willing to sacrifice first, which ones stay behind.

Jacob made the decision quickly.

²And he put the handmaids and their children foremost, and Leah and her children after, and Rachel and Joseph hindermost.

Zilpah and her kids along with Bilhah and her kids (that's 2 wives and 4 kids) then Leah and her 6 boys and Dinah, finally Rachel and Jacob.

³And he passed over before them, and bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.

Jacob stops several times, bowing, hoping that Esau won't kill him.

⁴And Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him: and they wept.

Esau's crying from joy from seeing his brother again. Jacob is crying because he's happy that his brother isn't going to kill him.

⁵And he lifted up his eyes, and saw the women and the children; and said, Who are those with thee? And he said, The children which God hath graciously given thy servant.

Uncle Esau then meets his nephews and niece, and their mothers. He asks what all the livestock was for, Jacob says it was a gift (in the hopes that you don't kill me; or that you start killing them and I notice and can run away). Esau says he has enough.

Jacob asks for Esau to please take them, Jacob has more than he can deal with. So Esau nicely accepts.

¹⁷And Jacob journeyed to Succoth, and built him an house, and made booths for his cattle: therefore the name of the place is called Succoth.

He journeyed to a place, and then named it? Once again, an example of a place being named in the bible before it's actually named. Sukkot means booths.

¹⁸And Jacob came to Shalem, a city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan, when he came from Padanaram; and pitched his tent before the city.

¹⁹And he bought a parcel of a field, where he had spread his tent, at the hand of the children of Hamor, Shechem's father, for an hundred pieces of money.

He just built a house, after you do that, isn't it time that you put the tents away? Wierd that they actually call the city Shechem. In Genesis 12:6 it was called Sichem.

²⁰And he erected there an altar, and called it EleloheIsrael.

El-Elohe-Israel means' God, the God of Israel.

Things to ponder for today:

1. Did Laban have the right to smite Jacob? Why would a JUST GOD not allow Jacob to be attacked by Laban when Jacobs party did steal from Laban?

2. How old was Jacob at the end? 40 + 20, was he 60?

3. If God can't beat a 60 year old man at wrestling without cheating, is he really worthy of being called all-powerful?

4. If you are afraid for your life, the best thing to to is attempt to bribe your opponent.

5. I'm surprised Jacob didn't pull out the old "she's my sister" line, when introducing Rachel. That seems to be a popular line used by the patriarchs when going into new land. Jacob probably thought it but didn't say it.

6. The Paleo-Hebrew alphabet first came around in the 10th century BC (1000 BC). Jacob is routinely believed to have lived around 1831 BC . This story would have been an oral tradition for about 831 years. No wonder people were named descriptively. Jacob named "leg puller" later renamed to Israel "god wrestler". Leah, the tender eyed one named "weary". Were these people actually named that, or did the story just evolve to include their names that way? Ham, Shem, Japheth... I wonder what Methuselah means. Probably "guy who lived the longest"... wait, no, it's "when he dies, it shall be sent". Coincidence that when he died that's when the flood started?

Day 8. Genesis 22-24

Genesis 22-24

Genesis 22

¹And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.

God tempted Abraham. Why did god tempt Abraham? God wanted Abraham to prove his loyalty to his god.

²And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

Thine only son? What about Ishmael? Or perhaps he means, the only son that Abraham loves, because sending away your other son is a sure sign that you don't love them. Many people give their kids up for adoption, one of the main reasons (it seems) is that it was an unwanted pregnancy and the mother couldn't afford the child. We know that Abraham is quite rich, so that's not the case. He did it because he was married to Sarah. She is actually quite the bitch. They make a good couple. He's douchie enough to send away his firstborn son, because his first wife, who is pretty, told him to.

Did Abraham actually feel love for Sarah, or was it just her beauty he was in love with. According to Jewish mythology, she was one of the most beautiful women to have ever lived. She was so beautiful that all other people seemed like apes in comparison. (this isn't in the actual bible, but in some other works). She also was a prophetess, apparently not good enough to see in the future that giving Hagar to Abraham would really piss her off though.

³And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him.

Abraham takes Isaac and two men with him to go do the sacrifice. You'll note that Abraham so far hasn't asked "why?" He hasn't even acted like he was going to refuse to do it.

⁶And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together.

The asshole is about to kill his son, and he makes Isaac carry the wood.

⁷And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?

⁸And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together.

Abraham then lies to his son, that he is about to kill. Granted, Abraham was used to killing people and not feeling remorse. Perhaps he learned something from the 10 righteous people time back in Sodom. When god wants to kill a bunch of people, he's going to do it, you'll note god didn't take the bargaining down to 4 people.

⁹And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood.

We aren't told if Isaac struggled. We aren't told if Abraham was sad to do this. The only thing we know is that Abraham did it without question.

¹⁰And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.

Mom who said she killed on God's orders acquitted

Father: God Told Me to Sacrifice Wife, Children

Currently, people who believe god tells them to kill their children are classified as insane. If it's in the bible, then that person is to be revered.

An angel stops Abraham.

¹²And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.

So it's only ATTEMPTED murder.

¹³And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son.

Thank heavens there was an animal caught there, so that the god who asked for the child sacrifice could get his bloodlust satisfied; even if it is only a ram, and not a human sacrifice.

The angel continues.

¹⁶And said, By myself have I sworn, saith the LORD, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son:

¹⁷That in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies;

¹⁸And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice.

Because Abraham didn't withhold his son, he will be blessed. Except, he's already been given this blessing? Well, maybe not this exact one, in Gen 13:16 his seed was to be like the dust; in Gen. 16:10 it was innumerable; this time it's like sand on the sea. God likes to repeat himself.


²⁰And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she hath also born children unto thy brother Nahor;

Nahor, Abraham's brother had some children. Huz, Buz, Kemuel, Chesed, Hazo, Pildash, Jidlaph, Bethuel were born of Milcah. Tebah, Gaham, Thahash, and Maachah were born of Reumah (his concubine).

Bethuel was the father of Rebekah. We are told all these births because Rebekah is important. Rebekah is the great-niece of Abraham.
Isaac is the son of Abraham.


Genesis 23

¹And Sarah was an hundred and seven and twenty years old: these were the years of the life of Sarah.

²And Sarah died in Kirjatharba; the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan: and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her.

Sarah died at 127. Jewish mythology holds that she died one of two ways, both deal with the attempted sacrifice of Isaac.

1. Samael (the archangel) told her that Abraham sacrificed Isaac, and she died of grief.
2. Satan (in the form of an old man) told her Isaac was sacrificed. She cried... alot, but got comfort in the belief that god told Abraham to do it. So she went to go find Abraham. Then satan tells her that it's not true, and she died of joy.

Abraham then attempts to buy a cave to bury her in.

⁹That he may give me the cave of Machpelah, which he hath, which is in the end of his field; for as much money as it is worth he shall give it me for a possession of a buryingplace amongst you.

This cave fills up with people over time.

¹¹Nay, my lord, hear me: the field give I thee, and the cave that is therein, I give it thee; in the presence of the sons of my people give I it thee: bury thy dead.

The extremely rich Abraham didn't have to pay for the cave, they wanted to give it to him.

He wanted to pay for it.

¹⁵My lord, hearken unto me: the land is worth four hundred shekels of silver; what is that betwixt me and thee? bury therefore thy dead.

It's worth 400 shekels. Abraham wound up paying for it.

¹⁶And Abraham hearkened unto Ephron; and Abraham weighed to Ephron the silver, which he had named in the audience of the sons of Heth, four hundred shekels of silver, current money with the merchant.

Current money.

¹⁹And after this, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave of the field of Machpelah before Mamre: the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan.

They are/were (supposedly) buried in the Cave of the Patriarchs, or the Cave of Machpelah. Bones were found in there, the guy who did the digging claimed he knew who's bones they were.

An early Jewish text, the Genesis Rabba, states that this site is one of three that the nations of the world cannot taunt Israel and say ‘you have stolen them.’ it being purchased "for its full price" by Abraham.

Apparently, claiming Israel has stolen things is a common practice.

Genesis 24

¹And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.

Sarah's dead, and Abraham is old.

²And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:

A thigh oath. Actually, it was probably a testicle oath. Apparently the word "testify" is from the same word as testis (testicles). Which means to swear a ball oath. So Abraham made his servant grab his balls and swear something... what was it?

³And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:

What a racist asshole. Remember, the Canaanites were black. So Abraham said "don't let my son marry no (n word)". Add this to the list of great attributes of Abraham.

⁴But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.

Incest is better than marrying a black girl.

⁵And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest?

The servant is still standing there holding Abraham's balls asking "what if she won't come back?"

Abraham says someone will come back.

¹⁰And the servant took ten camels of the camels of his master, and departed; for all the goods of his master were in his hand: and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor.

There are two Nahor's. One was Abraham's brother, the other his grandfather.

The servant prayed.

¹²And he said O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.

¹³Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water:

¹⁴And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.

You'll note that god wasn't the god of the servant. (The servant was probably Eliezer from Gen. 15:2) Eliezer prayed that when the women come out to get water, he'll ask them for some water, and the one who gives him water will be the one to marry Isaac.

¹⁵And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.

¹⁶And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.

Hey, remember Rebekah from earlier? The great-niece of Abraham. Apparently she's a hottie like her great-aunt Sarah. She's a virgin too, whoo hooo.

The servant (who isn't named, but it's assumed to be Eliezer) asked her for water. She gave him some. Then she said she'll get some for his camels too. HUZZAH!!!

²¹And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.

He was shocked that what he prayed for actually happened.

²²And it came to pass, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold;

²³And said, Whose daughter art thou? tell me, I pray thee: is there room in thy father's house for us to lodge in?

No wonder she got him water, he was all blinged out. Abraham paid 400 shekels of silver for the caves that he's buried in, his servant paid 20.5 shekels of gold for some water.

She told him she was the daughter of Bethuel, the granddaughter of Nahor.

²⁹And Rebekah had a brother, and his name was Laban: and Laban ran out unto the man, unto the well.

Laban will be important later.

The servant tells his story to Laban:

³⁵And the LORD hath blessed my master greatly; and he is become great: and he hath given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and gold, and menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and asses.

³⁶And Sarah my master's wife bare a son to my master when she was old: and unto him hath he given all that he hath.

Isaac will get everything.

³⁷And my master made me swear, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife to my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell:

³⁸But thou shalt go unto my father's house, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son.

No black wives though.

He tells the story of how Abraham made him swear on his nuts. He tells how he pray for water and water for his camels. He tells exactly the same thing that has already been told in this chapter.

⁵⁰Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the LORD: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good.

⁵¹Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the LORD hath spoken.

Laban freely gives away his sister. He'll get more stingy as times go by.

They ask if she wants to go, she says sure. So she takes off with the servant.

⁶³And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.

The camels are coming, the camels are coming.

⁶⁴And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.

She was happy that she wasn't getting married to a troll. He was probably happy that he didn't have to marry one of the black town girls.

⁶⁷And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.

Nothing comforts a guy over his mothers death, like having a new wife who is a close cousin.

Points to ponder:

1. Abraham didn't necessarily want his son to marry one of his cousins so much that he didn't want him to marry a Canaanite.
2. I know I'm getting way ahead of myself, but take a look at James 1:13. ¹³Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man Meanwhile Genesis 22:1 says that God did tempt Abraham. Which of these verses is incorrect?
3. Why does Gen. 22:2 say Isaac is Abraham's only son? Does Abraham remember Ishmael anymore? Did he just assume that Hagar and Ishmael were dead?
4. If God tells you to sacrifice your children, would you do it? Would you seek medical help first?
5. Are you willing to swear on your nuts?
6. The new testament is about Jesus. God goes from not wanting a human sacrifice to demanding one, this time, it's his own son though. God doesn't want to be shown up, he doesn't give his own son the last second reprieve with the goat in stuck in the bushes.